RESTRICTED PERSONNEL RECORD
CAPTAIN QUACKPOT™
Executive classification, assigned duties, known liabilities, and other information the Corporation would prefer not to have needed.
MUGSHOT / EMPLOYEE PHOTO
Name
Captain Quackpot™
Classification
Executive / Pirate / Contractual Problem
Department
Executive Duck Operations
Primary Function
Marketing, morale disruption, travel representation, and unauthorized quacktivity.
Compensation
Subject to negotiation, dispute, and possible litigation.
Legal Representation
Outside counsel. Regrettably real.
Accommodation
Pocket, backpack, carry-on, seat, desk, shelf, or other location as operationally necessary.
Risk Level
Increasing.
Captain Quackpot™ has not been authorized to establish parallel revenue streams,
negotiate on behalf of the Corporation, or operate an Unauthorized Quack Market.